I am a little creeped out right about now. One of our neighbours is an American named Tim. Right now he is trying to seduce a Japanese girl. He's got some crap slow R&B music playing, heavy on the bass, and he's laughing way too much. A real creepy laugh. Like you'd hear coming out of a twelve year old boy who's pretty sure he's about to see a boobie, but coming out of a leacherous old man. High and desperate and forced. Creepy. I don't like it. I don't like how it's a student of his that he's trying to fuck. That's a little wrong. At first I thought he had hired himself a lady friend, but then I heard some of their conversation and it was about speaking English well.
Maybe I should describe Tim a bit. He's a thick man. I'm trying to think of an easy comparison. A name or actor that would make everyone go "Oh, I know that guy!" But I can't. He's about 5'10, older than me(but not by much), with short dark hair. He looks like he used to be in shape but has just been coasting these last few years and most of his muscle has turned to fat. He'd still be able to kick the shit out of me, but he'd be really winded at the end of it. His most striking feature is his birthmark, it's on his face. A violent pink splotch that covers about a fifth of his face, centered around his right eye. He struck me as a creep right off the bat, so maybe I'm judging him a bit harshly. But my gut is usually not wrong.
God, there's that laugh again. I really don't like the sound of it. There's a greasy, evil undercurrent to it. Like the twelve year old is thinking to himself, "If I don't get to see that boob, I'm going to go drown a kitten."
I hope he moves.
Friday, October 29, 2004
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Tekken 5
Tekken 5 is out now in the arcades here and everyone is all in a tizzy.
We stopped by an arcade, a Namco arcade to check it out. The first thing we saw was this promo video, showing off the new features of the game. Basically, anything that was good about Virtua Fighter 4 in the arcade, Tekken rips it off and pretends it came up with the idea all on its own. You can play against players all over Japan via TekkenNet. You can unlock stuff, new costumes and such, and save it to a memory card. You are graded on how well you fight. Plus, there's new characters. At least three. Probably more. Not that it matters. It seems all Tekken Players in Japan use Paul. In the short time we were in that arcade, we saw countless Paul vs. Paul matches. Other than his hair, I just don't see Paul's appeal. It is common knowledge that Paul is a shit name and only stupid people who eat their own waste are called by said name.
All that being said, there were a fair few people waiting in line to play Tekken. From what I could tell from the sidelines, the game looks like a prettier Tekken 4. Which was a prettier Tekken 3, which was a prettier Tekken 2, which was a hell of a lot better looking than Tekken 1. As you can tell, I ain't the world's biggest Tekken fan. I've played them all, save for 5, and I like them all. But I don't own any of them. I wait until they are released on a home console, I rent them, I unlock everything and then I go back to playing Soul Calibur, DOA3 and Melee.
Here is a picture of Paul in action. He's a bit blurry, in a vain attempt at disguising how lame he is. But we all know his terrible secret. He's a Paul, and always will be.
There was plenty of other stuff to play other than T5, including some more really interesting games that will never make it to North America.
Like this here sword fighting game. Meaning, you pick up the sword attached to the machine and swing it around to dispatch the enemies on screen. Like a light gun game but with a sword. There's a bit of skill involved too, as you can dodge, parry and even perform combos. Pretty Nifty.
Pretty Fucking bizzare is this game. A comedy game, if my understanding of Japanese is to be trusted (and it is not!). Basically, you follow the action on screen and slap and beat the crap out of the dummy provided in order to make the audience laugh. Never saw anyone play it and I didn't play it myself as there's now way I would be able to read the onscreen prompts fast enough.
Quest of D was there in full effect. I still don't know much more about this game than what I related last time I spoke of it, but now I have pictures of it! Woot! I even have pictures of the touch screen being used! 
LOOK! Look there! She is touching the screen, making magic with her fingertip! Truly a powerful wiccan is she! Behold her vast command of the arcane arts!
Virtua Cop 3 was there if you wanted to shoot things. There was also a strange ping pong game. That's all for now.
Wait, I wanna give a shout out to my good friend Paul. He loves the cock almost as much as Mickey. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Except that Paul likes the shit encrusted cock, which I think is a little unhygienic.
We stopped by an arcade, a Namco arcade to check it out. The first thing we saw was this promo video, showing off the new features of the game. Basically, anything that was good about Virtua Fighter 4 in the arcade, Tekken rips it off and pretends it came up with the idea all on its own. You can play against players all over Japan via TekkenNet. You can unlock stuff, new costumes and such, and save it to a memory card. You are graded on how well you fight. Plus, there's new characters. At least three. Probably more. Not that it matters. It seems all Tekken Players in Japan use Paul. In the short time we were in that arcade, we saw countless Paul vs. Paul matches. Other than his hair, I just don't see Paul's appeal. It is common knowledge that Paul is a shit name and only stupid people who eat their own waste are called by said name.
All that being said, there were a fair few people waiting in line to play Tekken. From what I could tell from the sidelines, the game looks like a prettier Tekken 4. Which was a prettier Tekken 3, which was a prettier Tekken 2, which was a hell of a lot better looking than Tekken 1. As you can tell, I ain't the world's biggest Tekken fan. I've played them all, save for 5, and I like them all. But I don't own any of them. I wait until they are released on a home console, I rent them, I unlock everything and then I go back to playing Soul Calibur, DOA3 and Melee.
Here is a picture of Paul in action. He's a bit blurry, in a vain attempt at disguising how lame he is. But we all know his terrible secret. He's a Paul, and always will be.
There was plenty of other stuff to play other than T5, including some more really interesting games that will never make it to North America.
Like this here sword fighting game. Meaning, you pick up the sword attached to the machine and swing it around to dispatch the enemies on screen. Like a light gun game but with a sword. There's a bit of skill involved too, as you can dodge, parry and even perform combos. Pretty Nifty.
Pretty Fucking bizzare is this game. A comedy game, if my understanding of Japanese is to be trusted (and it is not!). Basically, you follow the action on screen and slap and beat the crap out of the dummy provided in order to make the audience laugh. Never saw anyone play it and I didn't play it myself as there's now way I would be able to read the onscreen prompts fast enough.
Quest of D was there in full effect. I still don't know much more about this game than what I related last time I spoke of it, but now I have pictures of it! Woot! I even have pictures of the touch screen being used! 
LOOK! Look there! She is touching the screen, making magic with her fingertip! Truly a powerful wiccan is she! Behold her vast command of the arcane arts!
Virtua Cop 3 was there if you wanted to shoot things. There was also a strange ping pong game. That's all for now.
Wait, I wanna give a shout out to my good friend Paul. He loves the cock almost as much as Mickey. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Except that Paul likes the shit encrusted cock, which I think is a little unhygienic.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
This One Is For the Kelley
This is the post where I rub Kelley's face in the fact that I am in the land of videogames and he is not. Sure, he then might try to rub my face in the fact that the DS gets released in North America first but I'll still get to play it before him. There's a free videogame festival happening here in the middle of November. So there!
Anyhoo... whilst out wandering today, I stumbled across Sega World.
"A world of Sega?" I thought to myself, "If it's anything like Sega games, it'll be better in theory than in actual practice." Using that logic, I almost didn't investigate. But then I figured what the hell and went in anyway.
It was full of stuff. All sorts of videogames, arcade games to be more specific. Also, a lot of UFO Catcher games. Including one that had really wiggly jelly. It was weird. I tried to take a picture, but how does one convey the un-natural jiggly-wiggliness of jelly in a still photo? Enough about the non-arcade games though.
There was a whole section devoted to arcade Mah Jongg. Not all that exciting. Rows and rows and rows of Virtua Fighter: Final Tuned machines. Virtua Fighter is crazy popular here in Japan. Tonnes of machines everywhere, and most of the machines are always being played.
There were a lot of multiplayer arcade games going on, and I bet none of them will ever come to North America.
First up is this game, whose name I never bothered to learn. It's a card-based strategy turn-based RPG. Utilizing the large touch screen in front of them, players pick and use their various cards. The screen in front of them then shows what's going on around their character's immediate area whilst the massive screen up front shows the big picture. I believe this game can be played co-operatively or head to head.
Next up is
this here football as in soccer game. Once again multiplayer. Once again multi-screen. Once again touch sensitive. See those little fields next to every unit? Those are part of the control layout. Nuts huh? Once again, the player's screen shows them the close up action, the big main screen shows of the big picture or highlights particularly cool actions.
There was other stuff of note. Including...
The dog walking game. I didn't play it. But I will. Oh yes. I will.
I loved Typing of the Dead on the Dreamcast. It's because of that game that I can type more than 3 words a minute.
Well it's not just a play at home game any more. That's right. Now you can type in the safety and comfort of your local arcade. Chicks dig typing. Chicks dig killing the undead. Finally a game that brings the two together in the most chick friendly place of all: the arcade.
Here's a picture of a couple of light gun games.
One is an underwater type game, the other is based on the Lupin The Third anime.
When speaking of light gun games, you have to mention Virtua Cop. It's the game that made the genre popular again. I've always loved the Virtua Cop games, they're like John Woo video games. Lots of guns, lots of bullets, lots of non-descript guys in dark suits. Virtua Cop 3 is more of the same, but now even more John Woo-Y. That's right, now there's plenty of slow motion. All sorts of bullet time craziness. I took a picture, but it's too blurry to post. That's okay though, cuz I live in a land where there are crazy cool arcades every which way I turn.
Plus hot chicks who want to have sex with me. I swear to god, if you want to fuck a Japanese girl, fly over here to Japan and go to a club. Any club. You'll be good to go.
Anyhoo... whilst out wandering today, I stumbled across Sega World.
"A world of Sega?" I thought to myself, "If it's anything like Sega games, it'll be better in theory than in actual practice." Using that logic, I almost didn't investigate. But then I figured what the hell and went in anyway.
It was full of stuff. All sorts of videogames, arcade games to be more specific. Also, a lot of UFO Catcher games. Including one that had really wiggly jelly. It was weird. I tried to take a picture, but how does one convey the un-natural jiggly-wiggliness of jelly in a still photo? Enough about the non-arcade games though.
There was a whole section devoted to arcade Mah Jongg. Not all that exciting. Rows and rows and rows of Virtua Fighter: Final Tuned machines. Virtua Fighter is crazy popular here in Japan. Tonnes of machines everywhere, and most of the machines are always being played.
There were a lot of multiplayer arcade games going on, and I bet none of them will ever come to North America.
First up is this game, whose name I never bothered to learn. It's a card-based strategy turn-based RPG. Utilizing the large touch screen in front of them, players pick and use their various cards. The screen in front of them then shows what's going on around their character's immediate area whilst the massive screen up front shows the big picture. I believe this game can be played co-operatively or head to head.
Next up is
this here football as in soccer game. Once again multiplayer. Once again multi-screen. Once again touch sensitive. See those little fields next to every unit? Those are part of the control layout. Nuts huh? Once again, the player's screen shows them the close up action, the big main screen shows of the big picture or highlights particularly cool actions.
There was other stuff of note. Including...
The dog walking game. I didn't play it. But I will. Oh yes. I will.
I loved Typing of the Dead on the Dreamcast. It's because of that game that I can type more than 3 words a minute.
Well it's not just a play at home game any more. That's right. Now you can type in the safety and comfort of your local arcade. Chicks dig typing. Chicks dig killing the undead. Finally a game that brings the two together in the most chick friendly place of all: the arcade.
Here's a picture of a couple of light gun games.
One is an underwater type game, the other is based on the Lupin The Third anime.
When speaking of light gun games, you have to mention Virtua Cop. It's the game that made the genre popular again. I've always loved the Virtua Cop games, they're like John Woo video games. Lots of guns, lots of bullets, lots of non-descript guys in dark suits. Virtua Cop 3 is more of the same, but now even more John Woo-Y. That's right, now there's plenty of slow motion. All sorts of bullet time craziness. I took a picture, but it's too blurry to post. That's okay though, cuz I live in a land where there are crazy cool arcades every which way I turn.
Plus hot chicks who want to have sex with me. I swear to god, if you want to fuck a Japanese girl, fly over here to Japan and go to a club. Any club. You'll be good to go.
Thursday, October 07, 2004
F Zero
Within a few block radius of where I am staying right now, there are at least four full-sized, sit down arcade cabinets of F Zero. They are gorgeous.
The whole damn game is gorgeous so I suppose it's only fitting. Actually, seeing this game again, and in an arcade context makes me realize how truly fantastic this game is.
The whole damn game is gorgeous so I suppose it's only fitting. Actually, seeing this game again, and in an arcade context makes me realize how truly fantastic this game is.
Monday, October 04, 2004
Japan
Yep, I'm in Japan. Nihon. I'm surrounded by Japanese people. It's nuts.
The hotel room we're staying in is about the size of my bathroom back home, and that's including our Japanese bathroom. Fucking tiny.
The bad part about being in Japan is that you see a lot of ugly Japanese girls. Their are people here with serious genetic issues. It's just wrong. But then you see the lovely ones and everything else just fades away. Everything but your fiance of course.
Saw some cool shit in the videogame shop I wandered in to. Fuck. I want it so bad, but games over here are not cheap. Factor in the exchange rate and it really sucks.
Went to a part for English and non English people. The second question out of every Japanese girls mouth was about my availability. God damn.
If you want to read more in depth about Carla and me in Japan, with less swearing and mentioning of hot Japanese girls, you should click over to my other website.
If I ever get around to putting a link up that is.
The hotel room we're staying in is about the size of my bathroom back home, and that's including our Japanese bathroom. Fucking tiny.
The bad part about being in Japan is that you see a lot of ugly Japanese girls. Their are people here with serious genetic issues. It's just wrong. But then you see the lovely ones and everything else just fades away. Everything but your fiance of course.
Saw some cool shit in the videogame shop I wandered in to. Fuck. I want it so bad, but games over here are not cheap. Factor in the exchange rate and it really sucks.
Went to a part for English and non English people. The second question out of every Japanese girls mouth was about my availability. God damn.
If you want to read more in depth about Carla and me in Japan, with less swearing and mentioning of hot Japanese girls, you should click over to my other website.
If I ever get around to putting a link up that is.
More Minibosses
Ａｓ Ｉ ｍｅｎｔｉｏｎｅｄ ｉｎ ｔｈｅ ｌａｓｔ ｐｏｓｔ， ｔｈｅ Ｍｉｎｉｂｏｓｓｅｓ ｗｅｒｅ ｓｏ ｍｕｃｈ ｍｏｒｅ ｔｈａｎ ａｌｌ ｔｈａｔ． Ｙｅａｈ． Ｓｏ ROCKIN！！！ Ｔｈｅｙ ｊｕｓｔ ｌａｉｄ ｉｎｔｏ ｔｈｅ ｍｕｓｉｃ ｍａｎ． They didn't just play the music, ｔhey set out to destroy it. One of the guitarist spun around so much he might still be dizzy. Have you ever tried playing 8-bit videogame music on a real instrument? Me neither, but seeing these guys play made me realize how complex it was. Repetitive yes, but complex. Their fingers were flying through the chords.
And god damn if the audience wasn't lapping it all up. They (we) were singing along. Humming or making various noises in time with the music. It was a little spooky. Then... I love this part... they played the Metroid medley. This was the defining moment of the con for me. The part that made me proud to be a geek, to be a associated with the masses around me. The Metroid medley is fantastic, and they played the fuck out of it. There are plenty of fast parts, but the slow part near the end is where the magic happened. Geeks don't smoke much. It's hard to hold a cigarette and still play to the best of your abilities. Hence, most geeks don't have lighters. But we've got plenty of stuff that glows in the dark. During the slow part of the Metroid medley, geeks pulled out their cell phones, their PDAs, their Ipods, and their GBA SPs (fuck me, why did I have to leave mine back at the hotel?) and waved them back and forth in the air. Plus we were all singing along. Spine tingling. To be a part of a crowd that not only doesn't mock you for waving your GBA SP proudly in the air, but thinks that is a great idea, that thinks that you are cool for doing so? My geek batteries have been recharged. Fuck man, they will never go empty ever again.
And you know what? I think that that night was the best night of the Minibosses career. To have a room so in tune with what they're about. So in need of what they have. It was a perfect circle of supply and demand. We demanded their best and they gave it, they demanded our attention, our appreciation, our participation and we fell all over ourselves to give it to them.
There was no way that MC Frontalot could top all that. And he didn't. He was still really good. I enjoyed the hell out of him, but nothing could beat the bosses. The audience thinned out noticeably by the time the Front hit the stage. Tellingly, it filled back up near the end of his set. I wasn't sure what to expect from Frontalot, but the live backing was cool. I don't really know how to describe Frontalot, because the Minibosses were so overpowering.
Sorry Front. You'se cool and all, but damn. The Minibosses. The fucking Mini-fucking-bosses. fuck.
If I ever mange to finish blogging about PAX, there will be a fair bit of bitching. A lot could have been done better, but for those of us who got to see the music, all the stupid shit was worth it.
Also, I apologize if this post looks a little weird, I'm typing it on a keyboard not meant for English hands.
And god damn if the audience wasn't lapping it all up. They (we) were singing along. Humming or making various noises in time with the music. It was a little spooky. Then... I love this part... they played the Metroid medley. This was the defining moment of the con for me. The part that made me proud to be a geek, to be a associated with the masses around me. The Metroid medley is fantastic, and they played the fuck out of it. There are plenty of fast parts, but the slow part near the end is where the magic happened. Geeks don't smoke much. It's hard to hold a cigarette and still play to the best of your abilities. Hence, most geeks don't have lighters. But we've got plenty of stuff that glows in the dark. During the slow part of the Metroid medley, geeks pulled out their cell phones, their PDAs, their Ipods, and their GBA SPs (fuck me, why did I have to leave mine back at the hotel?) and waved them back and forth in the air. Plus we were all singing along. Spine tingling. To be a part of a crowd that not only doesn't mock you for waving your GBA SP proudly in the air, but thinks that is a great idea, that thinks that you are cool for doing so? My geek batteries have been recharged. Fuck man, they will never go empty ever again.
And you know what? I think that that night was the best night of the Minibosses career. To have a room so in tune with what they're about. So in need of what they have. It was a perfect circle of supply and demand. We demanded their best and they gave it, they demanded our attention, our appreciation, our participation and we fell all over ourselves to give it to them.
There was no way that MC Frontalot could top all that. And he didn't. He was still really good. I enjoyed the hell out of him, but nothing could beat the bosses. The audience thinned out noticeably by the time the Front hit the stage. Tellingly, it filled back up near the end of his set. I wasn't sure what to expect from Frontalot, but the live backing was cool. I don't really know how to describe Frontalot, because the Minibosses were so overpowering.
Sorry Front. You'se cool and all, but damn. The Minibosses. The fucking Mini-fucking-bosses. fuck.
If I ever mange to finish blogging about PAX, there will be a fair bit of bitching. A lot could have been done better, but for those of us who got to see the music, all the stupid shit was worth it.
Also, I apologize if this post looks a little weird, I'm typing it on a keyboard not meant for English hands.
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