Still More Beginning

Lucky grabbed the bottle from Hector's (he looked like a Hector) grubby hand. He took a swig, trying not to think of where this particular bottle had been, or what other lips it had touched.

He leaned up against the bar and examined the saloon more intently. It was a very large room. There were fifteen big tables (six fat men could sit and eat at these tables comfortably) spread unevenly throughout the room. There was an old player piano in the corner. Even from across the room Lucky could tell it hadn't been in use in quite some time. It was covered by a thick layer of dust, and there were two bullet holes right where the pianist would sit. Across the room from the piano was a set of stairs leading up to the second floor landing. There were a few doors leading, presumably, to a few bedrooms. A flimsy looking handrail went up the stair and along the landing. It had obviously been repaired more than a few times. And not very well.

A girl sat fanning herself on the stairs in spite of the general lack of heat.

Lucky smiled around the bottle and decided he should get a closer look.

Her leggings, dress and gloves were all tattered and worn looking, but her face was anything but. Gorgeous would be a good word to describe her. She was gorgeous. She looked worriedly from Lucky to the front doors and back again.

Lucky turned his gaze to follow hers. "Looks like a storm's a'brewin'." said Hector. Not much was visible beyond the saloon doors except a whole lot of swirling dust.

"Ayuh." replied Lucky as he spat another red glob to the ground. It almost landed on his boot. Above the boots, Lucky was clad all in black. Black leather. Even his duster. He pulled the duster back to reveal two guns, one on either hip. Lucky had never seen guns quite like these. They were the old style of guns, the old, old style. With the cylinders. Except these guns held seven shots each. The metal was almost white, and so shiny it seemed to glow. The handles were inlaid with a deep black wood that was delighfully cool to the touch. If Lucky hadn't looked at these guns, he might never have known he was carrying them. So perfectly weighted, he couldn't feel them on his hips. "Giddy-up." he smiled.

All Work and No Play Makes Homer Something Something

I's the boy that builds the boat, and I's the boy that sails her. I's the buy that catches the fish and takes 'em home to Lizer.

I'm working on the short story here. I'm working at Global ten days straight. I have to have a twenty-ish minute script done by Saturday. And I'm reading Battle Royale. Whew.

Weird Weather

Gale force winds on the weekend. Nearly twenty on Monday. Snow today.


Huh.

The Beginning

He awoke with a nose bleed. That was never a good sign. Nose bleeds always came before something bad. Lucky toyed with the idea of just going back to sleep, hopefully avoiding the shit storm that was obviously headed in his direction. But he was, and always had been, a light sleeper. Once he woke up, he was up. Plus the coppery taste in his mouth was slowly seeping down the back of his throat making Lucky feel particularly unpleasant.

He opened his eyes, raised his head and took in the unfamiliar surroundings. He appeared to be in a saloon. A real, honest to god, old west saloon. Just like in all those "movies" he had watched years ago. Everything was made of wood; (except, of course, for the nails. And all the glass) the tables, chairs, floor, ceiling and everything in between. Lucky could name most of the different types of wood used in the construction of this place (Maplebark and Laughing Oak and the bar, the deep red unpainted bar had to be made of Thrice Dead Wallow). He had no idea how he knew that though. Lucky lived in an environment of metal and glass (more truthfully of plastic made to look like metal and glass), he knew not of any Oak. Laughing or otherwise.

That's not true, screamed a part of his mind, you grew up in a small village made of wood.

His mind occasionally did this. Once this voice in his head started it wouldn't' stop until he was filled with self-doubt and conflicting memories, rocking rocking back and forth on the ground in the fetal position. Not a good way to spend the day. Lucky knew of only one way to stop his mind's incessant nattering.

He caught the barkeep's eye. "Tequilla." he said in his morning voice. "Keep the glass, leave the bottle." He spat out a large chunk of phlegm and blood. It hit the sawdust covered floor in the shape of that creepy cartoon rat's head. The sawdust started sucking up the blood and the three circles spread out into a blob shaped blob.

Lucky made his way slowly over to the bar. His heels jingling and jangling as he did so. He stopped short of the bar and looked down at his feet. "...the hell?" He was wearing cowboy boots. Fucking cowboy boots. With spurs and everything. "fuck." Lucky was pretty sure that he had once said that he would shoot himself in the head if he ever wore cowboy boots. He looked away from the sorry spectacle that was his boots to find the barkeep holding out a grimy bottle.

"You sure you need this?" asked the greasy one eyed man. There was an evil looking scar where his left eye should have been. The pale pink of the scar stood out in stark contrast to his dark, dark skin.

"Have you seen what I'm wearing?"

Just So's Ya Knows

I'm going to start, sometime soon, to post a story here. I figured it might be more interesting than reading about what I had to eat yesterday. Unless I ate a small Cajun boy. THAT would be more interesting than any silly little story. You have been warned.

ReCap

Walked in the MS walk on Sunday. Then ate some pizza and hot dogs to counteract the physical activity. Then watched some Bride of Chucky(they cut out the best part, the exploding best friend) as we (Carla and I) prepared some Jerky and some Korean Bar B Que.

I'm Old

Bought the new Maxim mainly for their annual hot 100. I actively dislike many of the girls contained within. Janet Jackson used to be attractive, but isn't any more. That Hilton wench turns my stomach. Nicole Ritchie even moreso. And I don't care how big her boobs are, they don't make Jessica Simpson attractive. Just because they are on T.V., that doesn't make them good looking.

And Another Thing

I forgot to mention that Johnny Knoxville plays The Rock's sidekick. He's there to be funny, but isn't. Except for the scene where he and another guy get into a shotgun fight. That was about the only thing in this movie I hadn't seen a hundred times before.

I have a hankering to see the originals. I should get on that.

Walking Not All That Tall, And With Kind Of A Limp

The Rock needs a hit man, and this flick ain't it. I mean, I thought The Rundown was a hit. Out of the park. A throwback to those eighties action films I loved when I was younger. But it wasn't a box office smash. It deserved to be, but was not. Neither is Walking Tall. Which makes sense because Walking Tall is not a good movie. Not by a long shot. The script is almost laughably weak. The Rock's big impassioned speech in the courtroom is neither big nor impassioned. It doesn't get the audience all riled up, ready to kick some ass with righteous fury, it made me roll my eyes. The action scenes also made my eyes roll, if only because I couldn't follow what was going on. Once again, it seems as if the director had no real idea of what he was doing and neither did the editor. Just a bunch of shots that have been shot too close smashed together with a rawkin' score. And a film like this is all about the action, so it's rapid descent in the box office is understandable.

And the bad guy sucks. Never, for one second do you doubt that The Rock is going to kick his ass. The film tries to make him seem like The Rock's equal by having him cheat to beat The Rock in a confusingly shot and edited game of pick-up football. Yeah. It didn't work. Nothing really would have made this guy menacing. He looks to much like the bad guy from Happy Gilmore.

The only good thing about the movie is The Rock. He's so god damn charismatic. He just needs to find a better film to be in. And he better do it quick, before he ends up the next Segal or Van Damme.

This is why I love the Internet

"I have once again plastered the cieling with my man-jam.

You'd think I would run out, except that my gonads are actually quantum singularities that lead to a parallel dimension comprised entirely of semen."

Finding a quote like that makes all the hours of reading stupid crap in forums worth it. Now to work that bad boy in to conversation somehow...

Busy Couple O' Days

I did manage to see Kill Bill volume 2. Much different than volume 1. So much so that I wonder if the complete change of pace between the first and second half will work when it's watched as one long film. The again, the films change and switch and flip between so many styles and moods and tones that it will all work out just fine. I get the idea that Quentin knows what he's doing. He knows that he's going to piss people off with these movies, so he doesn't waste any time doing it. In volume one he had the Shaw Scope followed by the 70's Feature Presentation followed by a Klingon Proverb. In volume 2 he has a long black and white take in front of a clearly rear projected background of Uma spouting some pretty damn arch dialogue. Both beginnings made me smile like a goon.

There is not nearly as much action in the second volume. Add it all up and it wouldn't amount to a quarter of what was seen in volume one. A lot more dialogue. And I ate it all up. I love the Superman monologue. I love Quentin's obsession with feet. I love how he shoots things. Supersaturated. Everything glows. Even Budd's trailer in the middle of nowhere looks glorious. To be fair, I thought the final show down would last a lot longer. You'd think it would take at least as much screen time as the Crazy 88 fight. If you add in all the talking they do before hand, then maybe they'd match up. It's like fighting but with words. Except The Bride doesn't get to fight back all that much during the verbal sparring. She doesn't get to fight back much at all in this movie. Mainly she gets kicked around. Shot, buried alive, beat up, shot, shot, and so on. Not to say that I think that the people who decry all this violence against The Bride as misogynistic or anything like that. Only stupid people would think that. Stupid people who would have no problem with all the violence if it was perpetrated on a man. Which strikes me, and maybe it's just me being silly here, it strikes me as racist. You can't abuse women, but fuck the guys over as much as you want. That ain't equality. The hero of a film, especially revenge films is only as great as the obstacles they have to overcome.

By that criteria Hawksley Workman's show on Saturday was his best ever. Because I enjoyed it in spite of all the stupid fucking people that surrounded me. My god. My Fucking GOD!!! I really fucking hate people sometimes. I hate people who go to a show and then spend the bulk of it talking loudly instead of enjoying said show. Right behind me. Or people who poke me in the ribs or the ear for no good reason. I wish to god I was making this shit up. But Hawksley brought his AAA game and was absolutely incredible. I don't know how to describe such a show, y'know. A movie, you can talk about the writing, the cinematography and so on. Here, he played nothing but songs I liked, and played them the best I've ever heard them. His interactions with the crowd were amusing. Umm... he did two encores... see, I ain't so good at the live show reviews.

Speaking of which, did I ever review my brother's play? He didn't write it or direct it. He was Titania, Queen of the Faeries in A Midsummer Night's Dream. Best production of it I've ever seen. Wow. And that's my review of that.

Bubba Ho-Tep was exactly what it said it was. In a nursing home somewhere in Texas Elvis and a black JFK team up to defeat an ancient mummy who is sucking the souls out of the old people through their asses. Yep. It's exactly that. I'm so totally biased, but Bruce Campbell was fantastic as Elvis. He didn't play him with a wink. He played him straight. The movie was sweeter than I was expecting. Cuter. And it took it's time. It's not a long movie, under ninety minutes, but it gives the characters and the story time to explore each other. Man I loved Bruce in this. He looks totally like Bruce, but at the same time an elderly Elvis. The mummy looks like a poorly lit generic monster, and the flying bug looks beyond cheesy. And it all worked.

I Better Fucking Cheer Up

Didn't get much sleep last night and I am full of ill temper and rage today. Seriously, this is one foul fucking mood. And now it looks like I won't get to see Kill Bill v 2 today. That ain't gonna help things.

Scary

The last few nights, as I try to go to sleep, I freak myself out. I keep thinking to myself as I walk in to my room, I think how freaky it would be if when I turned off the light I would see a human shaped shape crouching outside my window. Or, when I get under the covers I think how unnerving it would be to wake up in the middle of the night and see the shadow of the same thing cast onto the opposite wall. Yeah. I don't like when my brain thinks such things.

jaslk

Not much has happened lately, but I thought I'd pop in because tomorrow is just packed. Going to see Hawksley Workman in the evening and Kill Bill v 2 in the afternoon. I imagine I'm going to need a big bag of superlatives to describe it when next I blog.

Also, went to the comic store today. I had a little time to kill after applying for re-admission at the University. Might be taking a Japanese course over the summer, donchakno. The girl who worked at the desk was pretty cute. One of Cara's sculptures was displayed in the vestibule. These are asides. What I meant to mention is this: the new Punisher one shot is pretty good. The End I think it's called. And it is. It's set in the future, so lots more Punishing can take place but I can't think of a better ending for the character. Yep.

And All Was Right With the World

I now have internet access at home again. YAY! But now I have no excuses for not blogging. Unless the dog were to eat the hub or something.

Let's get updated. I'm sick. Have been for a couple days now. Started off with that horrible burning sensation on the roof of my mouth. Now I'm coughing and sneezing a lot. And my mouth always has the slight taste of snot in it.

Saw Hellboy. Enjoyed it. Actually, I really liked it up until the final act. After Liz went all crazy Broadway style on all the Samael I thought the movie just kind of fell apart. Having the climax of the movie be about Hellboy choosing to remain "human" or not was weak. Hellboy seemed the most human out of anyone else in the movie. It didn't seem like much of a choice. Like the Daredevil movie, I think they tried to cram too much cool stuff in. But yeah, up until that point I had no problems with the show. Everyone and everything looked great. Rasputin's tomb was totally ripped out of the comics. It made no sense, and that's why I liked it. Ron Perlman WAS born to play Hellboy. Just superb. I've heard complaints about how Hellboy's quips weren't all that funny. Here's the thing: they're no supposed to be. Hellboy isn't all that quick. He's not the brains of the operation. He's like a plumber. Instead of fixing leaks he combats nightmarish creatures. But his approach is the same. To Quote Fred Flintstone's lamp, "It's a living."

The other problem I had was with the villains. The crazy no-eyes all blades dude whose name is not coming to me right now was cool. But Ilsa had nothing to do. If she was uber-hot I could understand. But she wasn't. And Rasputin just wasn't all that menacing. And the Evil Cthulu-esque abomination that springs from his corpse came totally out of left field.

I recommend the movie, if only for its design. Good movie, but not great. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, now THAT"S a great movie. Kate Winslett looked amazing in this film. I could totally understand how Jim Carrey's character fell for her. Which is kind of important for a film like this. It's a romance movie that takes place after the romance is done. Kind of. It's about the memory of romance. Is the joy worth the hurt. It's about other stuff too, and is jam packed with interesting ideas and fabulous shots and sequences. It made me feel good.

Carla and I rented Tsui Hark's Vampire Hunters, mainly because a guy she knows worked on the effects for the film (or something like that). I fell asleep within ten minutes.

MicroFuckingSoft

So I hooked up my Xbox to the interweb. Cuz that there free offer was about to expire. I got it all hooked up. I can now go online and shoot people. I haven't yet, but the OPTION is there. Somehow, getting the Xbox online has caused my computer to not go online. So yeah. I'm writing this at work. And now it's time to go.