GI Joe is Better Than Transformers ROTF

I always want to call it Transformers ROFL. Except that film elicited no laughter from me. Which is the main reason why I prefer GI Joe. Itall a matter of tone.

Transformers is way too far up its own ass. Michael Bay has never not made a B movie. Except he doesn't know how to make a B movie. He makes silly genre films without the silliness.

This is how he approaches Transformers (please read the following in deadly serious monotone). This is the most important story about alien robots that transform into vehicles ever. Sometimes they don't even transform into vehicles, but people or ball bearings, and this is also very important. Sam's mother ate some pot brownies, this is seriously funny. These are the most important sweaty boobs running in slow motion in front of explosions in the history of forever.

And he works so hard at being so serious. Everything is sweaty and turned up to 11. And it just puts me off. It's like that scene in Total Recall when Arnold Schwarzenegger shoots that guy in the head because he sweats.

Stephen Sommers, however, may well be incapable of making anything but B movies. And I think he is totally fine with that. And so am I. He has made one truly awful film, Van Helsing, but he also made Deep Rising which just tickles me every time I see it.

Stephen knows what he is working with and works with it. Crazy concept, I know.

GI Joe eh? We'll need cool vehicles and guns and lasers that go pew pew and big battles and chases and swords. And hot chicks. And maybe I can have a scene where one of the hot chicks runs on a treadmill. Yeah, that would be cool. And Snake Eyes and Storm shadow have to fight lots, we can even have flashbacks to them fighting when they were kids, yeah that would be cool. And we'll give some of the Joes super suits so they can do even cooler stuff than usual.

It's just a light and fluffy concoction. And you don't really mind when some of the parts don't add up because it's just a light and fluffy concoction.

The chicks are hot, things blow up and it never ever stops moving forward. That Wayans brother isn't even all that annoying in this. That takes some skill.

The one area where Transformers trumps Joe is in the visuals. Transformers looks much better. A lot of the effects work in Joe looks rushed and somewhat sloppy. Bay's films have always looked shiny and artificial, so the giant robots fit right in.